Shades of “S3X AB-Use”

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Sex is good! I say this with all sense of responsibility. God was deliberate about its creation & design. Everything created by God was for man’s good as necessitated by purpose. However, millions of lives have been adversely affected & put in “reverse mode” because of its abnormal use (I.e, abuse). Good things become dangerous when put into abnormal use. Drugs, for instance become ‘weapons of destruction’ when subject to abnormal use, so it is with sex & every other good/beautiful thing.

A lot of people erroneously believe sex abuse is limited to rape. Myles Monroe once said that “when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable”. I would consequently infer that “when the purpose for a thing is ignored, abuse is the result”!
Not everyone who abuse sex is ignorant of its purpose. Once sex is engaged in outside of its purpose, abuse is the result.
We have sexual sins like adultery, fornication, incest and so on because sex is designed exclusively for married folks (i.e, between a mature male & a female who are not restated by blood).

So far, sex has been a most effective tool of the devil to thwarting colorful destinies. I urge you for the sake of Christ and your future to heed this warning and turn to God if you are guilty of one or more of salient points in this article. Permit me to briefly define a number of sex abuses/vices.
Adultery: sexual activities between a married and a single person.
Fornication: sexual activities between two singles.
Incest: sexual activities between relations.
Other shades of sex abuse include but are not limited to the following Homosexuality: sexual activities between same sex or gender. (Gay)
Lesbianism: sexual activities between two females.
Pedophilia: sexual activities between an adult and a child or children.
Bestiality: sexual activities between humans and animals.
Prostitution: sexual activities for material, positional or financial gain.
Sex Trading: selling people into prostitution for material, positional or financial gain.
Rape: Forceful sex. (This is also possible in marriage).
Orgy: sexual activities among a number of people at the same time, usually done to fulfill some kind of ritual to demons/gods.

(Please see Leviticus 18)

When sex is taken out of the context of marriage (where it is solely designed for), abuse is what we have. Fornication, adultery and the other variants of sex are abnormal use of sex just as rape is. The only difference is the aspect of the absence of mutual consent. Nonetheless, they are sexual sins as far as God is concerned.
A car has various parts that make up the car, so it is with sex. Romance, foreplay & every other non-penetrative sexual activity are all a part of the ‘sex package’. Fornication & adultery does not begin with sex, in most cases it ends with it. Using condom does not mat it safer; there is NO SAFE SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE!

Condoms may prevent pregnancy, no condom can prevent other consequences; don’t play pranks with God!

Many lives have been turned to objects of ridicule due to incessant involvement in sexual sins; many are carrying acute curses & untold burdens from multiple sex partners. Ungodly books, relationships, upbringing, has succeeded to a large extent in unduly exposing millions of young folks to unimaginable depths of sexuality. As a result, a good number of people (old and young) have had their senses/minds so messes up that they exhibit sexual tendencies that are not consistent with God’s original plan for humans. Some people are sexually attracted to both sexes (bisexual), some females are only attracted to men or vice versa (androsexuals), some are sexually attracted to women (gynesexuals), some others exhibit an insatiable desire for sex (nymphomaniacs). It is shocking to know that a number of sexual anomalies are inherited; this further gives credence to the fact that sex is spiritual and has spiritual results/consequences as the case may be.

If you are by any chance involved in any form of sex abuse or immorality, you are headed for a ‘dead end’ except you genuinely repent & seek God’s mercy & deliverance! There might be a dire need for you to see a trusted Christian counsellor or a pastor for proper guidance.

Anyone you’re not married to is considered by God as your father, mother, brother or sister and it is in your own best interest to agree with God on this ground if you must enjoy His blessings.

Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as though he were your own father. Talk to the younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat the older women as you would your mother, and treat the younger women with all purity as your own sisters.  1 Tim 5:1,2 NLT

His grace is sufficient for you.
2 Cor 12:9 KJV: And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Be wise, choose your friends wisely & flee from everyone/place or thing that activates or sensitizes your sexual antenna. Choose what you read and watch online and on TV; the eyes and ears are windows of the mind.
Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you want to do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. 2 Timothy 2:22 NLT:

Submit to God & His principle; build your walk with Him via fellowship with genuine Christian friends, invest time in personal word study and prayer thereby building your spiritual defense against sexual temptations and arrows that fly by day and by night.
So humble yourselves before God. Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7NLT

God could’ve chosen to dwell in the choicest of edifices but He chose your body as His temple; I think that is a great privilege which can only be appreciated via chastity and sexual purity.
God’s word says “Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food.” This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them. But our bodies were not made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. 1 Cor 6:13 NLT

God will bring ruin upon anyone who ruins this temple. For God’s temple is holy, and you Christians are that temple. 1 Cor 3:17NLT

When God needed someone to be the mother of Christ, He sought for a virgin! The idea of getting married as a virgin is not obsolete; every of God’s principle is relevant for life! If perhaps you lost your virginity due to foolishness, God’s arms are wide open to receive you so long as your repentance is genuine. Be sorry enough to STOP the act and turn a new leaf.

If you’re yet to accept Christ as your Lord and Savior, you are headed for eternal damnation. Please take that bold step and make it right with God now that you still can, life is short and tomorrow might just be too late! There is no repentance in the grave or in hell, and NO ONE is worth going to hell for– NO ONE!.

 

Get MOVING!

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About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came to them, walking on the water.

 When the disciples saw him, they screamed in terror, thinking he was a ghost.

 But Jesus spoke to them at once. ” It’s all right, ” he said. ” I am here! Don’t be afraid. “

 Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you by walking on water.”

 ” All right, come, ” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.

 But when he looked around at the high waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

 Instantly Jesus reached out his hand and grabbed him. ” You don’t have much faith, ” Jesus said. ” Why did you doubt me? “

 And when they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. (Matthew 14:25-32 NLT)

Peter thrived while walking on water as long as he maintained the right focus; he only began sinking when his focus drifted away from LIGHT and what was important to seeming realities that in your case could mean economic situations, political weather and the likes…

Do you realize that the so called waves ceased once Peter was rescued? This means that everything you are looking at as an excuse to make progress is only there for ONE REASON: “To give you an excuse”!

Pay attention to your call, assignment, vision; break new grounds, by all means keep moving! Don’t walk by sight and see what becomes of your “potential excuses”.

Your LOCUS (level of success) is highly dependent on your FOCUS, what are you looking at!
The Israelites had the great red sea ahead of them, what an awesome excuse that was …they complained and murmured heavily against God and His servant Moses but guess what?
Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving! Exodus 14:15 NLT

Wow! In spite of the “valid excuse or impediment” before them, their progress was tied to their decision to MOVE!

My friend, STAND UP; GET MOVING!

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Are You Fit?

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“Direction is Superior to speed”.

Until you know why you exist, you are not deserving of the life you have.

Until you know where you’re headed, every activity or movement from place to place may just be a mare displacement.

Until you understand purpose, life may just be a swinging pendulum at best!

Until you know who you are, misbehaviour may be a habit or hobby.

Until you know the truth about YOU, you may be a ‘valid deception’ to others.

He who has direction is wiser because he is armed with understanding. He who lacks direction is a danger to himself if is is not careful and cautious about many things. 

The man DAVID cried out to God: “Give me understanding that I might live!”. He knew that without it, life is DEATH! (Psalm 119:144)

Proverbs 21:KJV

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The man that wandereth out of the way of understanding shall remain in the congregation of the dead.

It doesn’t matter how old or educated you are; if you don’t know what your life SHOULD be about, you will surely live WRONG! And that’ll be a WASTE of breath, a waste of life, a waste of a life that could have mattered!

I beg you, do not join in the competitive craze going on, know your place and run on your lane! This is the only honourable way to make a name without making ‘that’ your prime goal.

Life is short, you can’t afford not to be somewhat sure; it doesn’t have to be 100% but at least know what you’re doing and WHY! If you don’t, what’s your duty or explanation to your children or the generation next on the ‘queue’ of life? What would be your ‘account statement’ to God Himself?

Stay true to the call on your life, be focused on your assignment, your vision. Do only what will enhance its fulfilment; Purpose is key and understanding it enough to work in it is what makes to ‘valid’. If you don’t know it, FIND IT, ASK the right questions, THINK, LOOK WITH… It must be there somewhere, it was there long before you came. You can’t create one, you can only discover it.

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“Assumption is the Mother of Frustration”

The “WOMAN Weapon”

Do you erroneously believe the man is the head because he is more powerful?

It is unarguable that the man is physically and structurally more powerful than the woman, but how far can his physical strength take him in the journey of life?

Real strength is beyond the physical, and this is where the we need to recognise and appreciate the place of significance that the woman is privileged to occupy by the will of God Himself; this is incontestible!

Another point to note is that the woman is so powerful that she can be destructive to a union unless she willingly submits to her named head- “the egocentric man”.

Hmmm…a woman void of understanding can derail a whole destiny!

Recall that no one was ever capable of killing Jesus if he had not willingly submitted himself to the death of the cross; he testified that he had the power to lay down or take back his own life”.

John 10:17,18 NLT:

The Father loves me because I lay down my life that I may have it back again. No one can take my life from me. I lay down my life voluntarily. For I have the right to lay it down when I want to and also the power to take it again. For my Father has given me this command.”

Woman, you win the heart of God & that of your man when you willingly lay down your pride and sword for the sake of progress in the will of God. Christ is our perfect example and cannot be questioned by anyone.

Watch this in Philippians 2:5-9 KJV

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: …, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name.

WOMAN, you’re a most likely a dangerous weapon of man’s destruction and distraction; a time bomb waiting to happen outside the walls of willing regard and submission, first to Christ, and next to your own man. No one is wiser than God, if His idea is for you to submit then, you better get to it before you ruin the potential good of your marriage!

Take it or face the music (…definitely not R n B).
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Assumption is the mother of frustrationbe sure!

WOMAN: “The Simplifier”

I have seen more women complicate the life of their men, which is entirely against the design and will of God; this is an abuse of ‘womanhood’ in every sense of the word.

And the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him.” Genesis 2:18 NLT

I imagine that God saw a burdensome and complex life ahead of the man. He saw the need to be proactive THEN, rather than having to be reactive LATER.

I don’t by any chance encourage chauvinism but I have seen men do everything possible to avoid going back to their luxury houses because of the woman waiting back there for him; ironically the woman who should be his reason to long for home has suddenly become an excuse to hang out much longer…what an aberration and abuse to purpose!

To this end, He graciously brought this amazing creature into the scene. This amazing creature was to be the solution to the impending ‘burden’ of life ahead for the man.

In a way, He ensured he got the buy in of the man who would be the one to benefit directly from the woman by presenting her to him for his approval:

“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib and brought her to Adam. At last!” Adam exclaimed. “She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken out of a man.”

(Genesis 2:22, 23 NLT)

Man did not only approve the woman, he named her! This way, God solved the problem He foresaw ahead while making the man a key part of the process. Man needed woman but God never imposed her on him!

As such, a woman should function in a way that’ll affirm to the man that he wouldn’t have been better off without her otherwise, what’s the essence of having her in his life?

Woman, you have to bring relative simplicity and order into your man’s life! That should be your testimony! You should enhance his productivity and impact ultimately: this is what your role as HELPER entails.

Woman, build yourself for the task of simplifying his ‘ambiguities’, lighten his burden, make him see hope in his struggles and light in the thickest of darkness!

Indeed, your mission ain’t an easy one by any standard, and this is why it is most important that you recognise the place of your senior partner in the person of the Holy Spirit as YOUR PRINCIPAL HELPER! To ignore Him is to embrace your failure and sure doom!

You are Simplifier, not a Slayer!

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The Deadly BLAME GAME

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Woman, get this right:

God didn’t judge you the way he did back in the garden because you ate the fruit and gave your man also, NO!

Man, God didn’t judge you because you listened to Eve, NO!

He judged you and the man based on your respective KPI (Key Performance Indicator).
The Man: He is the head, he received direct instructions from God so he could offer proper education & direction to his dear wife.
Haven failed, he could also have taken responsibility as the head and asked to be forgiven for his error/oversight but he passed the bulk!

The Woman: She is the HELPER; who could’ve corrected her man’s error (like Nabot’s wife in 1Sam.25:2-34) when God came asking her for what went wrong! If she had taken the initiative where her man erred, by at least taking responsibility by pleading for mercy…things would’ve been different; that was the whole idea! God knew that man was frail hence the need for a “fitted strong help”- the WOMAN.

Do you realize that God already knew they both had messed up when they did? Rather than judge them instantly; He took His time, met each of them one-on-one, inquired of them individually, hoping that the situation would be well managed via an APOLOGY which NEVER CAME! A sincere apology from either of them would have saved the day!

Recall that He didn’t ask the serpent any question, it wasn’t necessary; He asked Adam and then Eve, thus giving each of them a chance to plead guilty and ask for mercy.

So, you see, the problem was not the fruit but the neglect of respective KEY RESPONSIBILITY.

I rest my case…

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NUDITY

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Everything you ARE right now is directly linked to your deepest thought pattern. Your subconscious dictates a large part of your life if not ALL. This is a key reason why Joshua 1:8 emphasizes that you CONSISTENTLY (Day & Night) STAY ON The WORD (In Observing it & PRACTICING IT) otherwise, your natural or habitual tendencies will override what the Word can do. It’s all about a reconditioning of your mind for a more rewarding life!

I may not be able to tell WHAT you think but I can sure tell HOW you think by your words, interactions, relationships,…and DRESSING or APPEARANCE. As a man thinketh, so is he…also, ‘as a man thinketh, the body weareth’. What a profound statement made by an old friend in a youth gathering sometime in 2003/4…(that statement never left me; it stuck)!

You can’t separate a man’s sense of dressing from his ‘sense of thinking’, they are closely and directly linked. Since the mind will ALWAYS prove itself right, it is only wise to consciously decide what it feeds on!

If your dressing makes public, your ‘private parts’ then I can tell that something must be definitely wrong with your thinking. (Private parts are not limited to your ‘organs’).
If there is no plausible correlation between your person and your image, your integrity is quite in doubt. I am not implying a state of perfection but clarifying the need for decency and order in a world where the future of upcoming generation(s) is at stake.
If you are a Christian, to you I make bold to say that Jesus would not wear a tight and revealing dress (as a 21C female) as many of our world acclaimed ladies do; neither would he have sagged his jeans or pants. (Please permit my illustrative tendencies).

I am in no position to judge anyone as I am only a wretched sinner who found mercy & grace before God Himself and I do not take this privilege for granted; if you have this same testimony, should you presumptively throw caution to the wind?
Can a LIGHT of the World be a distraction/hinderance at the same time? How much of a light can you be if you dont know better?

Being a light makes you an example not a scapegoat; a relevant center of attraction and not a distraction or stone of offense. If men ain’t inspired to praise God because of what your life potrays then, I doubt your authenticity. (Matt 5:14-16)

Another good friend of mine lsaid in one his books: if clothes could speak, what would yours be saying? I bet lots and LOTS of clothes would speak more deaths than LIFE.

…just a thought…

The ‘Silent’ WOMAN

Talkativeness is tantamount to pettiness…

Wrong use (abuse) of the mouth is not a sign of progress on the path of wisdom.
Even a FOOL will pass as wise when he is silent. (Pr 17:28)

Order enhances the move of God; He abhors disorderliness in EVERY form! (1Cor 14:40)
Most women cry out to God in prayers after doing their worse to the men who have hurt them deeply and severely…

When a WOMAN chooses to talk less (Pr 10:19), think twice, listen more, reflect often & pray without fail, bringing her erring husband before the Lord; she produces a LOUD order of command (before God) and of grace & power that NO MAN can fight or deny, his ego not withstanding. A wise woman learns the art of proper communication with her man since men often hear HOW you speak than WHAT you say (…you just need to say IT RIGHT or hold your peace). The Point you dont properly and respectfully communicate will undermine the peace of your union in spite of you good intention. Your words and actions are the voices of your deepest intent hence, they must always align and agree to produce desored results.

Often, your worth is expressed by your mouth! Talking too much (Pr 10:19), particularly off purpose is talking CHEAP (Pr 17:28)! Be selective, control your tongue more than ever: it’s a sign of GROWING UP.

If you can’t control your mouth, your life will be out of place.

Refuse to be remote-controlled by others’ pettiness & irresponsibility.

You’re a woman, be in control of yourself under the influence of the Holy Spirit! Don’t be a puppet in the hands of provocations, this will bring untold instability into your marriage! (Pr 29:20)

Be orderly: Don’t play God’s role; Do your bit then speak to your man’s boss (God) about his lapses and see how He responds… If you fight him, (with your mouth or otherwise) you may well be fighting with the one who named him ‘head’ i.e, God Himself!

I am a man, NOT a chauvinist!

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WOMAN: “Head Helper”

The man was made the head; but he became a proper head when the woman came.

He is HEAD by design; You are his HELP by design also but:

He can’t fulfill that HEADSHIP all by himself otherwise, you are just a decor at best!

Be ACTIVE and become a PRO-At-It (ProActive)! That’ll sire make you a better Helper; his King-Maker!

How will a proper man ever look down on such HELP!

Your beauty is in your HELPING! HELP is your Principal calling; everything else is secondary.

That’s the KPI you will be appraised on by GOD: “HELP”!

“The LIMELIGHT is only possible because there is a BACKSTAGE; No backstage; No limelight!”

He is “there” simply because you are THERE; That’s COMMITMENT dear!​

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